Just watched Bridegroom on OWN, and I feel a myriad of emotions. Heartbreak over the death of a talented and beautiful man in his prime and in love, anger over the way his partner of six years was treated after his passing, and an even deeper appreciation for my partner and our relationship.
I wish both of my parents would watch it. Even though we have afforded ourselves some legal protection with wills and powers of attorney, I still worry about what might happen if one of us dies. People who make an effort to accept a son or daughter’s spouse for the sake of family unity might not be so inclined once their child is no longer in the picture. I don’t want to consider that my partner could be scorned by my family upon the event of my death – during the very time he would be struggling through the grieving process. It is unimaginable.
This now ranks as one of my favorite LGBT films. There are plenty of parts of the movie that aren’t perfect, but what is perfect are the feelings expressed between the two main characters as they fall in love. The desire and desperation are downright palpable. It also doesn’t hurt that the soundtrack is so full of great music – like the luscious “Lie To Me” by Shane Mack.
I’ve never cooked an actual Thanksgiving dinner before, but I’m going to give it a shot this year. We typically fill up on holiday eats at our respective mom’s houses and then bring the leftovers home. While we will still follow that tradition this year, we have decided to invite a couple of our friends over for a traditional home-cooked meal Thanksgiving evening.
Last Wednesday evening, I donned a wig, fedora, red satin jacket, black surgical mask, and a sequined glove to go watch Michael Jackson’s This Is It – a documentary chronicling the King of Pop’s last days. Before leaving, I jokingly referred to the four people accompanying me as my “entourage.” It turned out to be not far from the truth when they almost had to drag me to the car a few hours later.
As soon as we arrived at the theater, two women spotted me and freaked out. As other fans arrived, several began to ask if they could either photograph me or have their picture taken with me. Some brought their children to greet me, whispering in my ear that they wouldn’t know the difference. This scene continued up until we were able to go into the theater and grab some seats on the top row.
I had been looking forward to seeing this film for weeks, and it exceeded all my expectations. I saw Michael Jackson as I had never seen him before – a man in charge of the smallest detail, but a human being who was full of love and graciousness towards others and filled with concern for our planet. I have no doubt that the concerts he was rehearsing for would have been some of the best that the world had ever seen. It’s a shame that this is the closest we will ever get to seeing the final product, but also a blessing that his death has exposed so many more people to his message.
I had been expecting to have a strong emotional response to the film, but found myself only tearing up a few times – once when Michael referenced his brothers and parents, and again when he sang a few lines of “Speechless.” MJ was thin, but amazingly energetic and his voice was flawless. It was much easier to be enthralled than emotional.
As the film ended and we made our way toward the exit, people once again started coming up and asking me for photos. I met one very nice lady who insisted her kids stand beside me for a picture. She adjusted my hair, stood beside me for a snapshot, and then gave me a hug as other fans gathered around with cell phones and cameras pointed in our direction. She began talking about what a wonderful person Michael was and her eyes welled up with tears. As she walked away, I heard her daughter ask, “Mom, are you sure that’s not Michael Jackson?”
After posing outside the building with a few more beaming MJ fans, my partner insisted that I go to the car. I was getting quite a head rush from my five minutes of fame and also felt inspired that so many people in my area are fans of Michael Jackson.
There is an instant kinship among Michael’s fans. We understand what it means to love someone that the world considered to be outside the concept of normal. We know what it’s like to be ridiculed for having that appreciation, and to constantly have to defend someone whom most of us never even had the privilege of meeting in person. As crazy as it might have seemed to some, I felt honored that these people allowed me to be their substitute for the evening; a way in which they could continue to physically cling to the thing they miss the most.