‘But the Heart Said No’

They saw the poor living in cardboard shacks, so they knocked the shacks down and built projects. Huge blocks of cement and glass towered over asphalt parking lots. Somehow it wasn’t much like home. Even home in a shack. “What do you expect?” they asked impatiently. “You’re too poor to live like us until you can do better for yourselves, you should be grateful, shouldn’t you?”
The head said yes, but the heart said no.

They needed more electricity in the city, so they found a mountain stream to dam. As the waters rose, dead rabbits and deer floated by: baby birds too young to fly drowned in the nest while mother birds cried helplessly. “It’s not a pretty sight,” they said, “but now a million people can run their air conditioners all summer. That’s more important than one mountain stream, isn’t it?”
The head said yes, but the heart said no.

They saw oppression and terrorism in a far-off land, so they made war against it. Bombs reduced the country to rubble. Its population cowered in fear, and every day more villagers were buried in rough wooden coffins. “You have to be prepared to make sacrifices,” they said. “If some innocent bystanders get hurt, isn’t that just the price one must pay for peace?”
The head said yes, but the heart said no.

The years rolled by and they got old. Sitting in their comfortable houses, they took stock. “We’ve had a good life,” they said, “and we did the right thing.” Their children looked down and asked why poverty, pollution and war were still unsolved. “You’ll find out soon enough,” they replied. “Human beings are weak and selfish. Despite our best efforts, these problems will never really end.”
The head said yes, but the children looked into their hearts and whispered, “No!”

- From Dancing the Dream by Michael Jackson

Learning about Lent

My church is currently observing Lent – a season of spiritual discipline that leads up to Easter. We are encouraged to “give up” something during this time, apparently as a way to relate to the 40 days of temptation that Christ endured.

Although the denomination that I grew up in didn’t observe Lent, fasting and other forms of self-denial were commonplace. Regardless, the idea of denying myself something for an extended period of time every year feels both foreign and compelling.

I guess I like the idea more for carnal reasons than spiritual ones. I think it’s good to practice forms of self-discipline, whether that means pushing away the plate or turning off the television. Even so, in the four years that I’ve been attending my church, I have yet to participate in this tradition.

I think the main problem is that I can’t decide what to give up. Most of the things that people commonly abstain from seem downright silly. Surely giving up chocolate or soft drinks doesn’t really give one a deeper understanding of Jesus’ suffering, but I can appreciate how difficult it is to choose something meaningful.

Ash Wednesday, the traditional start of Lent, was last week, but I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to abstain from. Maybe my hesitancy is evidence that I don’t want to give up anything, because deep down, I really don’t. I don’t want to stop checking Facebook every ten minutes. I don’t want to quit Dr. Pepper, or stop watching “Big Love,” or order a salad instead of french fries.

But I guess that’s the point. Jesus went through hell in order to enlighten the world and save humanity. Surely I can give up something I really like for a few days.

How to dry shoes in a dryer without noise or damage

After washing a couple of pairs of tennis shoes recently, I discovered that getting them dry wasn’t as easy as just tossing them in the clothes dryer. Not only did they make a terrible racket as they bounced around inside the rotating drum, they also kept turning off the dryer by hitting the inside of the dryer door.

A little searching online revealed a very simple technique for drying shoes – without noise and without damaging the shoes or the dryer.

  1. Tie the shoestrings of a pair of shoes together into a loose knot.
  2. Close the dryer door with the shoes hanging on the inside and the knot on the outside.
  3. Run dryer until shoes are dry.

Doesn’t get much easier than that! =)

Glutton for punishment

Over the past month, two people have attacked me via Facebook because of my sexuality. Apparently my honesty about my lifestyle is irresistible to those hiding behind computer screens and religious dogma. Both people claimed an interest in saving my soul, but both used rather unusual tactics to express their concern.

One person contacted me privately to tell me that being open about my sexuality was creating an inappropriate influence on children, that I should follow the real Christ instead of a false Christ, and that they didn’t want to go to the judgment with my blood on their hands.

The other responded to a mutual friend’s post about gay marriage that I had commented on. He asked if AIDS is a plague or a cure, before launching into a diatribe about the evils of homosexuality that took a very personal and nasty turn.

God did not make you queer he made you just like everybody else…you have brain washed yourself into believing this stupidity because you want to. Even your parents have taught you better than that….You are looking for justification for your grotesque life style….DO NOT BLAME ANYBODY BUT YOURSELF. IT IS A CHOICE!!

Both people ended their messages by expressing that they love me. I find it ironic that someone could imply that homosexuals deserve to die from AIDS one minute, then tell me they love me the next.

I wonder why I even have a Facebook account, as it provides a means for people to say things to me that they would never consider saying in real life. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment.

As if I haven’t been beaten up enough lately, last night I checked the comment queue on this blog to find the following message: ”You sound like a f***ing homo.”

Short and to the point. At least it didn’t include any religious condemnation or hollow expressions of love.